The foundation for future learning is established from the time a child is born until he or she turns six. It is during this time that the changeover from dependence to independence happens for the child. The child begins to develop an emotional blueprint that notifies him or her on every aspect of his or her life. When the child is guided to identify and manage his emotions at this age, the emotional quotient tends to get stronger over time. The ability to understand and manage one's feelings is the driving force for social and intellectual accomplishment and can, therefore, be considered as the strongest pointer for success.
Irrespective of the temperamental or genetic tendency with which a child is born, it is possible to effectively cultivate emotional intelligence in the child before he gets into elementary school. Concentrating on this area at a much earlier stage (infancy) can make a difference in the kid’s outlook toward life. When children receive the gift of mindfulness in the early stages of life, they develop important assets such as:
- Kindness
- Creativity
- Concentration
- Competency
- Self-advocacy
- Self-control
- Inquisitiveness
- Proficiency
- Problem-solving
- Managing fears and worries
When the child is trained on emotional intelligence, he or she can maximize his or her potential and build resilience 먹튀검증사이트.
Understanding Temperament
The CEO of Six Seconds, Joshua Freeman, maintains an interesting blog: “Emotions, feelings and moods ? Does anybody know the difference?” The difference between the three is only a matter of time.
Emotions are chemicals that are released in response to your interpretation of a particular trigger. They last for only 6 seconds.
Feelings are the outcome of your emotions, i.e., when you let your emotions sink in; you begin to feel the outcome of the emotion. The chemicals of the emotion are processed in your bodies and brain; therefore, feelings are saturated in the cognitive process. Feelings last longer than emotions.
Moods are a collection of inputs that aren't tied to a specific incident but are rather generalized. So many different factors influence your mood ? physiology (how healthy you are, what you eat, how you exercise, how you sleep, etc.), environment (climate, people, noise, etc.) and mental state (current emotions, current focus, etc.). Unlike emotions and feelings, moods can last for a much longer period ? minutes, hours or even days.
According to this model, momentary emotions only gain importance over time, but unfortunately, this won’t work well to increase your emotional intelligence. You will need to understand the temperament of the person to determine his emotional responses that are usually habitual. Why is it so? Temperament is a part of one's personality, and it can last longer than days ? it can last a lifetime!
Temperaments that are usually set at the time of birth are source points for the reaction to an emotional trigger. When you understand one’s temperament, you get to know his emotions that are usually habituated. This will ultimately reveal to you the further course of reaction of the person. But is it possible to change your temperament? For example: Is it possible to change the temperament of an individual who is highly unpredictable or someone who is extremely shy? Does our biology fix the emotional blueprint? Is it possible for an extremely shy kid to grow into a confident adult?
The neuro-biochemistry shreds of evidence of various temperaments prove that temperament is not destiny. Though genetic heritage bestows you with a series of emotional set points that determine your temperament, the circuit system of the brain involved is unusually malleable and can be influenced. The emotional lessons taught in early childhood can have a deep impact in either intensifying or nullifying an inborn predisposition. Early experiences can have a lasting effect in carving the neural pathways of the individual.
For example, a child whose natural temperament is timidity will grow into a delicate adult if the parents have been protecting her since childhood. She will not be able to manage even mild stress, as her neural circuitry makes her more reactive. From the time she was born, her heartbeat would have increased rapidly in response to new or strange scenarios. This particular response lies within her and develops into lifelong timidity. She will look at any new person or scenario as a potential threat!
But if her parents gradually encourage their naturally timid child by providing him or her with the confidence to handle new situations, this may turn into a corrective measure to get rid of their fear which might otherwise exist for life. Parents shouldn’t be judgmental or critical but rather offer their emotional support by talking to the child about her feelings and how she needs to understand, analyze and address them. Offering problem-solving help when she is in an emotional mess and guiding her on what needs to be done when she is pulled down by negative or difficult emotions is necessary.
It is often seen that people who had traumatic emotional experiences during their childhood suffer a series of mental health issues ? mild or severe. In the most serious of cases, even psychotherapy doesn't work.
This is why emotional intelligence is important. Every key skill of EQ has critical periods of development ? the time when the child is prepared to develop these emotional abilities. If the appropriate time window is missed, it becomes more difficult to learn them later, but not impossible.
This huge carving and pruning of neural circuits during childhood may be the reason why early emotional suffering and hardship have insidious and continual effects in adulthood, where psychotherapy also takes a much longer time to affect these neural patterns. Even after continuous therapies, these patterns tend to remain as underlying propensities that have the natural tendency to behave in a particular manner though relearned responses. New insights are superimposed over this layer. Therefore, it is crucial to be prepared when young, as the remedy for every solution is linked to how you were prepared for the world when you were young.
The Key Driver Behind Emotions
When you try to separate feeling and thinking, everything becomes artificial. Emotions that ultimately lead to feelings drive every single thing. The author of Molecules of Emotion, Candace Pert, (who was also a leading neurobiologist) confirmed that thinking occurs in the body and brain, while all other kinds of information (feelings, ideas and even spiritual impulses) are processed all through the body. The brain is the processing power, but it is not the driving force of the system.
After the groundbreaking research conducted on emotional intelligence by Mayer and Salovey, the concept of EQ is still young. Even after 25 years, we continue to define basic intelligence when there are multiple intelligences to be discussed. The key to getting through more scientific evaluations is by refining the research of development, its effects and the assessment process. Dr. Salovey mentions the same, "The real challenge is to show that emotional intelligence matters over-and-above measured for decades, like personality and IQ. I believe that emotional intelligence holds this promise.”
Your emotions are driven by your temperament, and most of the emotions you display are habitual due to your behavioral patterns. When you can identify your temperament, you can understand why you show particular emotions in specific scenarios. Most of the time, the patterns are repetitive, and when you can recognize this, you gain better control over your emotions and instead of reacting, you begin to respond. You consciously attempt to behave in a particular way that works well for both you and the people around you. When you begin to gauge your emotional pattern, you can manage the flow of emotions and encourage (and motivate) yourself to work towards betterment.
For instance, when you tend to get angry at the slightest provocation, you need to find the key force that is driving this emotion in you. In other words, the trigger point that is pushing this emotion in you! You may have to calm down, relax and rewind. Is it the person you are angry with? Or is it the thing that he said which provoked you? Or is it both? When you begin to question yourself, the more you tend to observe and work accordingly!
Neuroscience
If you need to work on your emotional intelligence, you will first have to understand the neuroscience behind it. When you understand how the brain works, you can gain a clearer picture of how to comprehend and develop your emotional intelligence quotient.
Earlier, the models in psychology discussed described the behavioral pattern of humans concerning stimulus and response. On the other hand, today’s advancements in neuroscience and psychology show that there are a series of stages that fall between the stimulus and response. The information is filtered in the initial stage via your attitude(s) before it gets processed as emotions, thoughts and feelings. The response to this processed information is your behavior. This behavior produces an outcome.
You can summarize the stages as follows:
- Stimulus
- Attitude/pattern match
- Feeling
- Emotion
- Thinking/thought process
- Behavior/habit
- Outcome/performance
It is referred to by the acronym SAFE-T!
Scientific research shows that not one, but many different regions of the brain facilitate the emotional quotient in human beings.
The brain is the management while the heart is the workforce representative. The brain is comprised of three major sections:
- Primate brain (the area responsible for giving you the hunches; deals with rapid processing of information)
- Mammalian brain (your habits, memory, etc. come from this area)
- Reptilian brain (your motions and autonomic functions come from this area)
When you develop a clear insight into the workings of the brain, you can infer how to develop your emotional intelligence and work on it. For instance, though most people know what they should be doing, they don't put this into practice, i.e., they know they have to do a certain thing, but they don’t do it. The limbic brain (emotional) learns that a particular thing needs to be done, but it can only learn to do it by action (doing). So, if you want to turn your good intentions into behavior, you will have to habituate it by practicing regularly through physical experience and rehearsal.
