S teve, a successful manager, was a well-known figure in his organization for his ability to handle and resolve tough organizational problems and show results. He was excellent in evaluating situations, decision-making and for taking ownership of the projects he handled.
The man quickly climbed up the ladder, from being a module lead to delivery head, and was starting to take up more senior roles in the company. He was able to taste success in every step. As he was doing well in every role he was given, he persisted to influence the senior leadership team of the organization to increase his functional responsibilities. He wanted to be given bigger and tougher organizational issues to handle and resolve. His perseverance and hard work gave him room to rise higher in the senior ranks of the management.
Steve was pretty open when it came to his goal ? he made it clear that his career objective was to get into the executive suite. He had no secrets! He was confident that he would eventually get to that rank and there were many people in the organization that believed that it was certain. However, Steve didn’t get to that place ? he didn’t get the executive suite. He felt saturated as his career came to a halt ? the senior leadership team had reassigned most of his work responsibilities to other managers.
What happened? What went wrong? Why did his career stall? Why was there a sudden swerve in his career path?
The gossip that floated around the organization was that his decline centered on his micromanagement abilities. He used to micromanage his team and peers when he was at the lower levels of the management. This behavior continued when he rose up the ladder, and he started to micromanage his managers, which included even the best talents. He had problems giving them their independent authority because the managers were unable to finish the duties assigned to them.
The inability to delegate authority to his managers led to his downfall. Micromanagement might work at lower levels but when the organizational scope grows, this behavior will get problematic. Steve’s style of managing didn’t work for the larger role he had taken up, and the result was drastic. He accumulated huge budget shortfalls as he struggled to meet his objectives. He couldn’t handle the responsibilities given to him efficiently.
The gossip was, in fact, accurate but only to an extent. Steve’s inability to delegate authority and his tendency to micromanage were only the symptoms ? there was a much bigger problem! The root of Steve’s issue stemmed from the fact that he lacked emotional intelligence! Emotional intelligence is a must-have quality if you want to become an efficient and successful leader. When the leader can identify his emotions and manage them, he gradually gets to a stage where he gains the ability to perceive other’s emotions, gauge them, empathize and use it to his advantage for the benefit of the team and organization. This is when he earns credibility from his entire team.
Why is emotional intelligence more important than personality in the work environment?
The rise and fall of Steve as a manager proves why it is important for leaders to have emotional intelligence. The inability to understand and regulate his own emotions led to Steve’s downfall. Since he couldn’t understand his own emotions and manage them, he wasn’t able to understand his team either. This lack of self-awareness became the cause of all his problems.
Why was his emotional intelligence crippled? What was the issue? Steve’s fear was his emotional deficiency. But what was his fear about?
Steve feared that if he didn't micromanage things, he would start to lose control of his organizational area.
He felt that this might lead him to a stage where he may have problems finishing the responsibilities given to him. He also had a fear of being replaced by his managers if they were perfect in their job, so he restrained from giving them the authority that was rightfully theirs. He felt that if he gave them authority, then he would have no control over them.
This attitude of Steve became his enemy as it proved to hinder his path to success. When he refrained from giving authorities to his manager, the entire burden of decision-making and budget allocation fell on his shoulders. The operations slowed down and ultimately came to a grinding halt when taking decisions took time. Experienced and talented managers who had the capability of taking significant decisions realized that Steve’s head nod was a must for anything and everything.
This ultimately frustrated the managers and they felt that Steve was interfering too much with their key responsibilities and operations. Steve started losing his best managers when they took other job opportunities. The ones who remained in his team made sure they stayed out of his way, rather than focusing on generating the best results for their respective projects or teams.
When the senior management team noticed this, they felt that Steve did not have the leadership qualities to handle bigger teams. They concluded that he lacked the temperament and ability to handle his managers effectively. The promotion that was meant for Steve went to another manager who knew how to work with a team of a senior crowd. Steve's lack of emotional intelligence spoiled his goal of reaching the executive suite.
To be an efficient and accepted leader, one must possess effective management skills. To gain this, he or she should be aware of his or her own emotions and also be able to perceive, empathize and manage other’s emotions accordingly. Emotional intelligence does this and is therefore a crucial skill for leadership roles.
The story of Steve is quite common in many organizations. An individual who does extremely well in middle management level stumbles when he heads to the senior management level. For some, this hiccup starts quite early, especially during their initial stages of leadership development.
Leaders will need emotional intelligence to keep out the negative emotions from the team. This will help them produce better outcomes and results. When there is a lack of emotional control, the team is crippled with poor productivity, more absenteeism, strained relationships at work, unattained business goals and dreadful organizational turnover.
Workplace Intelligence
Even today, most companies focus more on hard skills (education, experience, domain knowledge and technical hands-on) and personality trait assessments when it comes to their selection process. Empathy, stress management, social acumen, assertiveness and political acumen are some of the competencies that are essential for a workplace scenario. Unfortunately, these are not focused on in training & development programs or measured when it comes to the candidate's selection process. But these are the crucial factors for success that shouldn't be ignored as they can have a direct impact on the employee’s outcome.
There have been studies and research conducted that have proved the importance of emotional intelligence in a workplace environment. Most of these researches have unboxed the following stories of success:
- A study conducted by Hay Group proved that salespeople with high emotional intelligence had generated twice the revenue when compared to people who had below average or average scores in EQ. The study was done on 44 Fortune 500 companies.
- Another study showed that technical programmers who had displayed the top ten percent of competency in emotional intelligence could develop software three times quicker than programmers who had lower competency.
- Salespeople with high emotional intelligence did 18 percent better than salespeople with lower emotional intelligence in a Fortune 500 company that deals with financial services.
- The Dallas Corporation conducted a study recently, where they measured the productivity of their employees. Employees who scored high in emotional intelligence were 20 times more productive than employees who had lower scores in EQ.
A Fortune 500 company in Texas had earlier used personality assessments in their candidate selection process, but it provided little results. Later they turned to emotional intelligence training and development program and included the selection assessment process based on emotional intelligence. The results were astonishing, as they were able to increase retention by 67 percent in the first year ($32 million, in addition to reduced turnover costs and increased sale revenues)
After implementing an EQ screening assessment process, a large city hospital was able to reduce their attrition rate in nursing (critical care unit) from 65 percent to 15 percent within 18 months of its implementation.
- A community bank that cut off 30 percent of its staff due to slow economy assessed the emotional intelligence of the remaining employees and placed them in roles that suited their competencies. Today, the bank is turning in a better performance with fewer staff.
- Emotional Intelligence Competencies for Success in the Workplace
- The combined effects of cognitive ability, standard personality traits and technical skills are important to succeed in a professional career. Yet two major emotional intelligence competencies prove to contribute more to workplace success. These include:
- Social competencies
- Personal competencies
Social Competencies
This particular set of skills helps determine how you handle relationships (inter-personal relationships) in the work environment. The skills desired are:
- Instinct and empathy
- Political insight and social skills
Instinct and empathy deal with your alertness and awareness of the emotions, feelings, concerns and needs of others. This competency is crucial when it comes to workplaces for the following reasons:
- You will need to understand others by using your intuitive ability to perceive the feelings and perspectives of the other person. When you show active interests in their concerns and needs, you naturally begin to empathize.
- This will help you achieve customer satisfaction as you are in line with the customer’s needs. You can foresee, identify and meet their needs, thereby leading to excellent customer service orientation.
- When you can sense what others require to grow, master and develop their strengths, your development skills will begin to improve.
- The ability to handle people lets you cultivate opportunities within the diversity, thereby maximizing the team efforts.
Political insights and social skills give you the gift of persuading responses and results that you desire from the others. When you are skilled in this area, you can:
- Influence your team for better results by using effective persuasion techniques
- Communicate effectively by sending clear and influential messages that can be easily understood.
- Inspire and guide more people or a group of people, thereby improving your leadership quality.
- Serve as a change catalyst in the workplace and ensure you initiate and manage change for the betterment of the team and organization.
- Resolve conflicts in the team by negotiating and solving disagreements with people. Sometimes, you have to agree to disagree to avoid conflict for the sake of the team or the project.
- Nurture influential relationships by building bonds for the success of the business/
- Cooperate and collaborate by working together toward shared goals with business partners and colleagues.
- Working as a team to pursue collective goals by creating successful interactions between two or more teams.
Personal Competencies 먹튀검증커뮤니티.
This particular set of skills helps you manage yourself by creating awareness within you. They are:
- Self-awareness
- Self-regulation
- Self-acceptation
Self-awareness allows you to know your internal state of mind, gut instincts, inclinations and resources. When you can identify yourself, you can:
- Identify your emotions and the effects it can cause on you and the people around you. When you know the impact it can cause, you tend to be more cautious and work on your emotional awareness.
- Assess yourself accurately as you know your limitations and strengths.
- Know your capabilities and be confident in your self-worth, thereby increasing your confidence level.
Self-Regulation helps you to manage your impulses, resource abilities and the internal state of mind. This can prove worthy at your workplace, as you can:
- Manage your disturbing emotions and impulses, giving you more power over your self-control.
- Maintain excellent standards of integrity and honesty, enabling people to trust you and your work.
- Be accountable for your performance and take your conscientiousness is perfectly in line.
- Stay comfortable and open to new ideas, information and approaches which most likely lead to innovation in the workplace.
- Motivation and self-expectations are the driving forces that guide you to reach your goals. It facilitates and gives you the drive:
- To achieve as you strive harder to meet the standard of excellence that is imposed upon you.
- To align yourself with the goals of the organization and commit towards the team’s success.
- To take the initiative and additional responsibilities within the scope of opportunities without being told.
- -To be optimistic about pursuing your goals, despite the hindrance and difficulties you come across.
Managing Workplace Conflict With Emotional Intelligence
I have a person on my team, and I cannot stand the sight of her. I know it’s absurd, especially when she’s my colleague, but she is self-centered, jealous, full of negativity and worst of all, she constantly badmouths anyone and everyone. She cannot keep her mouth shut. There have been times when I don’t respond to her when she talks about her work or talks badly about the other team members. I wanted to see how long she would continue her rambling, but to my surprise, she moves from topic to topic ? an amazing talent!
Seriously, her complete lack of emotional intelligence stresses me out totally.
I can feel my blood pressure rising whenever she walks toward my cubicle. It emotionally exhausts me, and I feel my energy draining away completely. If I don’t act quickly on this, sooner or later I would end up in an open conflict with her. I wanted to do something, but I didn’t know what to do. How do I handle this situation at my workplace? I wanted to avoid a possible conflict and at the same time save myself from her incessant talking.
I decided to talk to her about her non-stop yapping as I felt she was completely unaware of how it was making me feel. So, unless I am honest with her, I cannot be angry with her, as
she didn’t know it was disturbing me. Surprisingly, the discussion went well. Though it was not a friendly chat, it did go well as she understood where I was coming from when I was honest with her. After the conversation, she made an effort to set things right, and she was doing a lot better. I was relieved of her backbiting and rambling sessions.
But still, I could feel the frustration mounting up whenever she spoke to me, as the negative vibes weren't completely gone. Though she had considerably reduced her ranting sessions with me, her habit didn't stop her from doing so completely. I kept telling myself to forgive her, move on and start afresh, but I couldn't forgive her and continue. I didn't know what to do next.
This is one among many instances that are quite common in the workplace. Handling such situations requires emotional strength and intelligence.
A study conducted by the University of Munich mentioned emotional and decisional forgiveness. It was a forgiveness experiment involving 42 undergraduate students. Scenarios describing a person’s behavior were presented to them, and they were given a list of words that included negative words (such as lazy, selfish, jealous, etc.). They were then divided into three groups, and separate instructions were given to them.
The first group was asked to think about their feelings and thoughts about the person and the scenario. The second group was asked to think about the person as an individual and not the desire for any payback. The third group was instructed to practice empathy actively and wish for the person in the scenario to have healing, positive experiences. Based on the emotions or thoughts they felt for the person and the scenario, they were finally asked to pick some words from the list given. The third group, who were asked to practice empathy, was able to move on as they remembered very few words linked to the person's behavior.
This was when I understood the difference between emotional forgiveness and decisional forgiveness. When you make a rational decision to forgive someone, you force your system to do it. Like how I had forced myself to forgive my colleague. But when it comes to emotional forgiveness, you go one step further by replacing your unmoved negative thoughts with positive thoughts while at the same time forgiving them. For instance, you wish good things to happen to them, instead of thinking, “I forgive you, leave my sight.” This was what was missing in my case ? I forced myself to forgive her, although the negative thoughts about her were still lingering in my head.
I decided to follow the German University's experiment ? I started to think about my feelings and thoughts about my colleague. I then told myself that I had to forgive her and move on, but I got stuck. I wasn't doing enough. The anger was still inside me, and it might bubble up at some point of time, resulting in some conflict. I had to release the emotion ? anger! For that to happen, I needed to practice empathy. I needed to replace my negative thoughts about her with positive thoughts. I had to wish good things for her wholeheartedly. But this cannot happen overnight ? it requires constant practice, and I decided to do it!
When I actively started making room for empathy, I felt myself softening and opening up. I started to put myself in her shoes and connect with her emotions. Why does she talk so much? Is it loneliness? Or is she having personal issues that she diverts in this manner? These three questions opened the door for me to give her my best wishes, as these are the situations where I could do some good for her. I don't need to talk to her on a personal level to do this. Now comes the tough part ? practicing empathy!
Self-awareness and empathizing can solve most issues in a workplace environment, but it requires constant practicing.
How to Strike the Right Chord
Should I quit my job today? Do you wake up every single day asking this question to yourself? Are you the one taking the brunt of toxicity from your boss? I understand how it feels! Bosses who drain your energy with negativity are one good reason for you to quit your organization. But, what if you can learn to deal with such a toxic person? What if you make yourself less vulnerable to other such negative people in the future?
Yes, you can do it! Polishing your emotional intelligence skills will make you less interesting to those toxic people. You aren’t their target anymore. Like bullying, you will no longer give them the desired result they are looking for. Make your current boss your tool to develop the skills that will make you less attractive and interesting to his toxic personality. There are several different strategies to deal with unreasonable bosses, irritating coworkers, etc. but we will look at the emotional parts of it to help find the best way to deal with the particular scenario or person.
Don’t Rise to the Provocation
When the person is pushing your buttons, it is natural to burst out and react. It is impossible to fake the emotion that comes out. You will need to practice de-triggering yourself ? this will help you take control of your emotions when the toxic person is trying to provoke you. When you are successful in dealing with the negativity of the person by de-triggering yourself, you feel empowered that you can move past a toxic relationship (which might help you in your personal life too). Sometimes, your team members who also suffer the brunt of toxicity can see you overcoming it and will feel the confidence to follow your example. It doesn't happen in an instant ? you have to religiously practice de-triggering for some time, but once you get the hang of it, it comes to you naturally.
Support and Encourage
Support and encourage the others who are also a victim of such toxicity because, after a point, toxicity begins to feel normal. This can be dangerous. Talk to them passionately and remind them it is not normal ? ask them to look at it as an opportunity to grow their emotional abilities. Encourage them to practice de-triggering, offer them opportunities to vent, but motivate them to turn that energy to balance the emotional intelligence factor.
Show Empathy
Empathize with your toxic boss ? think of your boss as someone who is hurt and feel sorry for him, as he is harming his career path. When you do this, you begin to realize that the toxicity they are imposing on others is slowly eating them up. The moment you feel empowered ? you see yourself as the one who can help them. But, don't overburden yourself in an attempt to fix them (because it is not in your hands ? they will need to it themselves). Don't volunteer to go and talk to him. Carry the perception in your heart and wait for the opportunity to come to you. Grab it the moment you see it and share your perspective politely. They will soon begin to self-analyze.
Don’t Be Judgmental
Before you criticize someone or judge their emotional intelligence, look in the mirror. Remember, when you judge someone, you are judging your conscience. When you throw criticism or judge a person, ask yourself ? should I be doing this? Is it the real me? What does it say about my conscience?
If someone’s EQ is triggering some part of you - before you react, think about why it’s happening. Self-reflection exercises can help you comprehend your EQ. It will enlighten you on the areas you need to improve when it comes to your relationship with your colleague or boss. When you are dealing with people with a low EQ, you are testing your emotional intelligence. Ultimately, it is a two-way process.
Be an Example
Are you confident in your emotional intelligence? Do you believe it is an ongoing effort? If yes, you will have to look at every single interaction as an opportunity for yourself to model good emotional intelligence. We are humans and mistakes are part of our life. Instead of criticizing or judging another person (with low EQ), try to lead by example. Everyone reacts emotionally to certain situations at some point or the other. Self-reflection is the key factor for you to remember when you interact with a low EQ person. Put your EQ skills to work. Don't react when a co-worker frustrates you; rather give yourself time to think about it. Work on your thought process ? what will happen if you react in a particular way? What will the consequences be? Will it affect the ambiance of the team? Will it strain your relationship with the person further? Think about the counter-arguments you will have to face when you react that way. When you self-reflect, your communication will be much clear, and you respond as effectively as you take into account the wants, feelings, opinions and thoughts of the opposite person.
Don’t Assume, Ask
Some people might have a problem in communicating their concerns or problems effectively and this may be because of their low EQ. They don't realize that their stress and emotional reactions are responsible for triggering the opposite person. First and foremost, don't assume why the person acts in a particular way. Open the communication lines to diffuse the negative interactions you have with your boss or peers. Ask questions. Listen before you react. When you ask, you open a new framework of thought process. The boss or your colleague will understand that you are looking for a win-win situation that is beneficial for both.
Be Constructive in Your Feedback
When you open the communication line, you need to remember that you are walking down a two-way street. The best way to promote self-awareness and work on a relationship is by providing constructive feedback on other’s behaviors. Constructive is just a word from the dictionary! If you have decided to share your observations about the person's behavior to them, ensure you do it in a polite, balanced and respectful manner. It can be anyone ? your boss, peer or subordinate.
Let your feedback be precise and to the point ? don’t drag! If you are planning to talk to your colleague about a particular thing, be specific. For instance, you can tell your colleague that you weren’t happy with the way you were interrupted during the presentation. But how do you put it across? Try it this way ?
Yesterday during my presentation, you had interrupted me almost 5-6 times before even I could complete the point I was trying to make. It disturbed me, as I couldn’t make my point. Why did you do so? Was there something in my presentation that needed improvement? When you put it this way, you are conveying your emotions as well as giving them an opportunity to explain themselves. You are making them aware of their mistake and at the same time working on your emotional intelligence by trying to understand their thought process.
You will need to be at your best version every time ? be it giving or receiving feedback. Be calm, listen in, give yourself time to take in what is being said, understand the message, take notes and be open about how you feel. Communication matters a lot! If the opposite person displays poor or vicious behavior, walk away calmly!
Emotionally Distance Yourself
If your attempts fail despite communicating or leading by example, the best way to deal with the person is by distancing yourself emotionally. Self-preservation is important! Yes, maintain your emotional distance from the person if it is someone whom you cannot avoid in the workplace.
Avoid taking things personally, as the accusations or outbursts are just a reflection of who they are. You need to distance yourself from them emotionally ? this is crucial! You shouldn't let your dysfunctional boss affect your self-worth. Remember, you are worthy enough for yourself! There is no need to explicitly prove that to anyone ? especially to someone who cannot recognize his or her emotional patterns.
At this important juncture, I would like for you to do one simple little thing.
Think back on all that you have read so far and just bring out one or two or even three items of value and points which you found useful.
Great! Now, just go through them in your mind and draw relevance to your own personal situation, this will help to consolidate and strengthen what you found to be useful.
And before we proceed, just another small favor
Please leave and share what you have gotten, one or two points of value which was gleaned from this book and put it up over on amazon. It would be really cool to be able to share with others on what has been benefiting you so far and they can explore about it too!
